No Longer a Cat Person

SEE THIS IN PRINT IN THE BOOK ‘PRAYER AND TRIVIALITY’, available on Amazon 🙂


I used to be a cat person

Without one of my own.

Used to think I’d rather have one

Than to live alone.

I used to be a cat person

But couldn’t be possessed

By pets demanding full control;

And ruling all the rest.

I used to be a cat person

One batted at our door;

Meowed at windows where lights shone –

A small thing to endure…

I used to be a cat person,

Enjoyed their company –

Until they start to yawn and stretch,

And claw and scratch at me!

I used to be a cat person

Until I saw their hair:

Twas on my trousers, in my car;

On carpets – everywhere!

I used to be a cat person

Until I smelt their poo.

That really was the final straw:

I loathed it through and through!

I used to be a cat person

Until I saw the bills

For fancy food and toys and treats;

Play-frames with all the frills…

I used to be a cat person

Then learnt how much vets charge.

No NHS for pets in need;

My pockets aren’t that large.

I used to be a cat person

But like a holiday

Or weekend out without the stress

Of catteries to pay.

I used to be a cat person

Til furniture destroyed,

And clothing too – all by their claws:

No longer overjoyed!

I used to be a cat person

Til once lodged with a friend,

Where all night tramped across my face –

Cats wand’ring without end.

I used to be a cat person

Then saw their great delight

At bringing in their treasures, dead

Oh what a ghastly sight!

I used to be a cat person

Til oh those yowling strays

Would fight and screech all flippin’ night

And haunt our sleepy days.

I used to be a cat person

Until the neighbours came

And let their cat leave trophies in

Our doorway – oh the shame!

I used to be a cat person

Til lack of litter tray

Made cleaning poo our daily task –

It would not go away!

I used to be a cat person

Tried all things to dissuade

That cat from going on our plants –

Oh what a mess it made.

I used to be a cat person

But nothing ever worked

Tried olbas teabags, orange peel

And onion – cat just smirked!

I used to be a cat person

But battles did persist

With coffee grounds and smelly plants

The cat did not resist.

I used to be a cat person

And sure, they might be nice

For some – but not for our own house:

Yes, others’ pets suffice!


Written March 2018 (by Kat Gibson).

Would you like this on your wall? A4 prints available, printed on recycled card and posted first class. Just £3 including P&P!

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Or Buy 2 for £5… Or Buy 5 copies for just £10 (including P&P of course)!


Preview:

No Longer a Cat Person